I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
