i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
