Christians are straight up FREAKS
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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