He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
