butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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