i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
