I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
