Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
