i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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