Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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