She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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