I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
my mouth tastes like poor choices
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
