My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
