What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
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Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
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I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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