what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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