If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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