I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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