Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
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It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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