I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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