I wish I could teleport
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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