there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize