Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
