Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
