And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
