I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
