Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
