I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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