so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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