Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
