She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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