He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
