Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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