If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
