i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
