I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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