Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
