nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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