I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
