If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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