You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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