guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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