My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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