I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize