The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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