Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
