i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
