Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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