cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
