i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
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Is it penis luge time yet?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
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He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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