Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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