can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
