Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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