she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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