she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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