I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i will never coherently bang her
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
