How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
