I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
