dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
