Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
