I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
